Better communication applies to self talk, too

Here is one exercise to begin developing positive self-talk:

Write down some of the negative messages inside your mind.  Be specific, whenever possible, and include anyone you remember who contributed to that message.
Next, to those negative messages write down a positive truth in your life.  Don’t give up if you don’t find them quickly.  For every negative message there is positive,  keep looking until you find them.

For example, you might write, when you make a mistake, you think, “I can’t do anything right.” Right beside that negative statement, your positive message could be, “I accept my mistake and am becoming a better person.”

Positive self-talk is not self-deception, positive self-talk is about the truth, in situations and in yourself.  When negative events or mistakes happen, positive self-talk seeks to bring the positive out of the negative to help you do better, go further, or just keep moving forward.

Family Law Tips

If you’ve never been through the family law process before, it can be extremely scary, especially when armed only with limited knowledge from stories told by friends and from the culture. Every state has a different set of laws, and every judge has a different concept on how best to address separating family units. Here are a few bits of information about family law in Florida that may surprise you and bring you some relief.

ADULTERY ONLY MATTERS WHEN MARITAL ASSETS ARE SPENT ON THE RELATIONSHIP

In Florida, evidence and testimony towards the extra-marital relationships of a spouse are only relevant when that spouse spends significant money on that relationship. In that event, the court may consider those assets to be part of the equitable distribution of the property that has already been claimed, and will award the other spouse additional funds or assets to compensate. But the bare fact of cheating on a spouse is irrelevant. It doesn’t even factor into the grounds for a divorce.

FLORIDA REQUIRES MINIMAL EVIDENCE OF GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE

Almost every divorce has the same small bit of critical evidence: one party testifies that “the marriage is irretrievably broken”. That’s all it takes to get a divorce in Florida. Adultery, abuse – none of that is necessary to end a marriage. Just that one bare statement, under oath, from one spouse. However, the court has the power to order the parties to counseling, and the State requires a 4 hour class for any parents involved in a divorce action.

THE MOTHER OF THE CHILDREN DOES NOT ALWAYS GET ALL THE TIME WITH THEM

When children are involved in a family law action, the most important part of the case is the Parenting Plan. In the vast majority of cases, the parties attend mediation, and through the guiding actions of the mediator and counsel, when involved in the case, the parties reach an agreement. However, if the matter must be ruled on by a judge, that judge looks at over 20 different factors to determine which parent has the better situation for the children, and how time should be divided between them.

PAYMENT OF CHILD SUPPORT AND SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR KIDS ARE NOT DEPENDENT ON ONE ANOTHER

The Florida Statutes expressly provide that if a party falls behind on child support, it does not interfere with the time sharing the delinquent parent enjoys with the children. Additionally, child support is only due when a judge or the Department of Revenue orders the payment of child support, so in the absence of such an order, one parent should not withhold the child from the parent they think should pay them. That said, child support obligations can be imposed for up to two years from the filing of an action for support, all the way back to when the parties stop living together as a family.

 

Jake Walter Hannaway, Esquire, is a graduate of the University of Florida Levin College of Law, and has been a member of the Florida Bar since 2009. The primary focus of his practice has been helping parents obtain the best result for them and their kids in custody disputes. He has worked with people across the gender and sexuality spectrums. His practice, Hannaway Law, P.A., has offices in Clearwater and Tampa.

The Advantages of Online Dating for Women

The Advantages of Online Dating for Women

In the past, i.e. the 1990’s, online dating was a brand new idea. Unlike today, most people did not own PC’s or even have access to the internet. Times have changed. Online dating is not only IN the mainstream, it IS the mainstream.

There are many reasons for the phenomenal growth of online dating sites and the number of people, men and women of all ages, races and religions who use them as their primary source for meeting people and looking for “the one”.

If you don’t believe me, just ask your friends in the “real” world. If they are honest, most of them will tell you they have or are using an online dating service.

Here are three good reasons why thousands of people sign up for dating services everyday:

  • You can be anonymous. You will never be required to give your real name, address, email address, phone number or place of employment to another online user. You, of course, may do so but only at your own discretion and only when you feel completely safe. You are not required to post a picture of yourself. Posting a picture, however, will get more responses to your profile. So you can surf through the other members on the dating site you have joined with complete anonymity.

 

  • You have so many more choices online that you do in your brick and mortar world. Before the world of online dating came of age, the choice of friends and even of lifetime partners was limited to those we came in contact with through college or work. No more…the world is your oyster. You can go through hundreds…even thousands of profiles to find the right man for you.

 

  • The “safety factor” is the biggest reason of all. An online dating service will never reveal your personal information. You get to choose who has that information and when they have it.

The Polyamory Handbook

DO NOT DELETE

Similar Titles

“We need never be ashamed of our tears.” Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

The Polyamory Handbook: A User’s Guide

Author: Peter J. Benson
Pages: 392
Category: Health & Fitness
Publisher: Authorhouse
Publication Date: 2008
Signed? No
First Edition? No

Purchase this title at:

Description
You’ve probably heard of polyamory-expanded loving relationships, done openly and honestly. Maybe you’ve had caring feelings for someone else even though you love your spouse or partner as deeply as always. Maybe you’re single; you want a committed relationship with someone; but you don’t want to give up the freedom to date others with integrity. Maybe you and your spouse or partner already live a polyamorous lifestyle-but sometimes you aren’t sure how to proceed. Maybe the two of you would like to bring a third partner, or more, into your hearts and home as a triad, quad, etc., but you aren’t sure how to go about it. Maybe you are already a family of three, four, or more, but the complex interpersonal dynamics threaten to overwhelm you. In these pages you’ll find guidance about-Ø what polyamory is and is not; Ø communication, conflict resolution, and emotional growth; Ø ethical considerations; Ø sexual hygiene; Ø children; Ø wills, discrimination, and legal hassles; and much more. Whether you are well experienced with polyamory, or new at it, or curious about it, you’ll find answers here, all conveniently arranged in numbered sections for easy reference. The author has had many decades of experience living various forms of polyamory, including in a multi-adult household, in a polyamorous couple, and as a secondary. He is co-founder of three local polyamory groups and has led workshops at various polyamory conferences.
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