Resolve and Change

There is an undeniable power of the human spirit which can propel one through lifetimes of influence throughout the world. It is one that, no matter the trials, tribulations, or tragedy that it endures throughout life, it still perseveres, and grows as a result. From experiences of all sorts, we grow and change, rising all the while out of will and a desire to develop. But to overcome the trials of life, to become a brighter, bolder spirit, you must learn to change.

This lesson is not a new phrase. It is a means of life that has been internalized by the human race since as far as memory reaches: to live you must adapt and change. Within the confines of a safe, comfortable space, one is able to live contently, however cannot grow and surpass limits until the barrier is broken, and the outside is experienced. When the world changes dramatically, from a change of technology, age, or otherwise, one must change themselves in order to find enjoyment or happiness in the new world as a result.

But change is difficult, painful, and most of the time feels excruciatingly unfair or frustrating. Growing and changing as a person is necessary, but takes initiative and determination. There is much to be gained in the act of changing one’s own life, however a difficult first step is necessary. When making a change in your life, whether in your own routine, or a dramatic shift, the first step is to resolve yourself to make that change. Resolution is a fickle term, so allow me to explain how it pertains to this. Resolve in the face of change is an acknowledgment of the transition, and the taking of responsibility for the shift. It will be hard, it will be uncomfortable, but nevertheless it is your responsibility in order to undergo the growth necessary in order to move forward. Resolve yourself to finish the job, and you will eventually succeed; it is assured.

The most difficult part of change, however, comes with the maintenance of your resolution. It comes with the integrity of your change, the constancy of your decision. A change is only worth as much as you are willing to put forth the effort. There will come a time until it becomes second nature, however even then you must devote yourself to the thought, and to muster through the conflict that will arise from it. It is during this phase, in which you must remain steadfast, that change has the greatest chance of failure. Keep going, keep fighting, and you will succeed.

You will succeed in your efforts. Time may drag, and the troubles may only grow, however eventually the change will succeed depending on your resolve. Such is the essence of adaptation: time and effort. It can happen any time, anywhere, and the only one who can do it is you. You have the power to wake up one morning and totally change your life. You have the power to surpass being stuck in one place, in one job, in one time. You have the power to change.

What is the power of jealousy?

What is jealousy, and how does it come about to affect us so harshly whenever we become plagued in it’s harsh throes? This emotion that drives us to become green with envy is something that is a common problem for a variety of relationships, even those not of romantic roots. It stirs resentment, stews with anger and greed, and brings about the worst within ourselves, hurting even the ones we care about. But, what is it?

Jealousy, in the secular definition, is the general feelings of insecurities, anxieties, and concerns over a lack of possession over something. This something changes depending on context. For instance one can be jealous of a friend for getting the job you wanted, or maybe jealous of someone else’s wealth compared to yours. In this context, however, it refers to the insecurity that wracks the mind when one’s ‘possession’ of a bond with another is threatened. This threatening can be from perhaps a distance created from conflict, or a sudden change that causes one to feel insecure. No matter the circumstance, the feeling is malignant and causes one to shut down from opening up, emotionally or otherwise.

When jealousy arises in a relationship, it can be expressed unconsciously through many mediums: anger, lashing out, overprotectiveness, unfair treatment, harshness, and more. When a partner begins to start lashing out with negative emotion, it is vitally important to identify it, and communicate the feeling. Being green with envy creates subconscious resentment, which is a spreading crack that can poison a bond, no matter how much effort is undergone to mend it completely once suffered. It is not unfair to feel jealousy in of itself. Emotion is emotion, and cannot be faulted, no matter the person, as we all share emotions and are made all the more human by it. However, it is important to remember that lashing out because of jealousy is unfair in a relationship, and should be addressed immediately when noticed.

Jealousy is a terrible emotion that acts as a scourge on a relationship, however it does not warrant complete rejection either. Each person has felt, or will feel jealousy alongside numerous other malicious emotions that come along with developing emotional experience. Emotions and life in general can be surmised in the infamous phrase of Charles Dickens: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”. It is important to realize that it is a necessity, in order to have a healthy bond with someone, to acknowledge the existence of jealousy between the members in the relationship, and that it is a normal behavior. The point at which jealousy becomes unfair, and unkind, is when the person lashes out, acting on it harshly, out of fear.

One of the hardest things in order to do as part of a relationship of all is it learn to let go. When your partner is doing things that they enjoy, or have to do, you must learn to trust them and let them go in order to let them grow. No matter the jealousy you feel, no matter the feelings of anguish and anxiety, you must learn to trust and let them be. Jealousy will cause you to feel as if you’ve an entitlement to their undivided attention, but is unhealthy for anyone involved. Let them live as a person, and you can cherish them upon their return. That is the essence of overcoming the green plague of jealousy: learn to let go and trust.

Cuddle Therapy

What is it that you think of when you hear the term ‘cuddling’? Do you think of romantic excitement? Perhaps a warm feeling of security, safety, or contentment. It is probable that some would think of the term as strange, alien, or uncomfortable. But beyond that, what is cuddling?

The act of cuddling, when examined through a literal and secular viewpoint, is the physical, soothing contact between one and another. You can cuddle another person, a pet, an inanimate object, whatever soothes you the most, or a combination of it. There is, however, a certain emotional aspect to cuddling. When one ‘cuddles’ in a soothing way, the act usually generates a sort of inexplicable feeling. A natural comfort, or I could say a sort of contentment. But rather than just an emotional benefit, cuddling provides numerous little quirks and bonuses to those who do so happily.

The most physically visible effect of cuddling regularly, for the sake of enjoyment and contentment, is seen within the balance of a few different chemicals. An article byVanessa Van Edwards, written for the Science of People, explains these three in conjunctions. The main three effects upon hormones within the body are an increase in oxytocin, a reduction in serotonin, and an increase in dopamine. Strange words, so allow me a little of your time to explain.

Oxytocin is a hormone within the body researchers have been frantically researching for the past 20 years upon it’s beneficial effects to the human instinct of social interaction and ‘love’ when administered as a treatment. So far, researchers have concluded the chemical is a major influence upon someone’s proclivity to being social, to forming a bond, as well as the ability to pick up on social cues. Serotonin is a certain chemical that many would appreciate having less, however is still a necessary part of the psyche. Serotonin allows us to form anxious responses, and feel stress in times of… well… stress. Dopamine, a powerful substance, is responsible for pleasure; satisfaction of the self. When you generally feel a sense of having fun, you feel a release of dopamine. It is exciting, but too much for a harmful substance can form a dependance, also known as an addiction. It is best to obtain increases in dopamine through healthy activities such as exercise, cuddling, hobbies, etc.

Do not be ashamed of the desire to cuddle, even when an adult. Cuddling promotes safety, well-being, and good health for all, and even newborns or sick children. It aids in recovery, and helps mental health. When one inhibits the desire for contact, it suppresses these feelings into pent-up stress. This is no different than when told to ‘suck it up’, or denied the ability to release emotion. There is no shame to be had in the relieving contact with another, or another comfortable entity, for it is healing and allows you to perform your absolute best.

Oxytocin Spray

Oxytocin Spray is a mysterious treatment surrounded in a superfluous maze of hopes and anxious inquisitiveness from researchers and clients alike. But whatever is this strange substance that has become one of the primary focuses for researchers of mental health and certain genetic disorders.? It still is surrounded by plenty of unknown questions, and countless variables. After decades of research, we still somehow only manage to glean a light understanding this strange hormone known as Oxytocin, and how it affects our thinking and judgements.

The chemical of Oxytocin is still mostly misunderstood by researchers and readers alike. The hormone, thanks to an exorbitant amount of press and speculation, has been dubbed the “love hormone”. This simple, binary perspective of the hormone is not quite accurate, and leads to potential for misuse. However, before research into negative effects had been undergone, the chemical was quickly administered as a medicine for various issues such as marital problems, lack of understanding of social cues, and any other issue involving a lack of desire to associate with others. The hormone, according to Beth Azar from the American Psychology Association, is found within high concentrations inside mothers and children, adults romantically interested with one another, or in individuals within a detrimental relationship, theoretically influencing them to find connections elsewhere.

The potential positives of Oxytocin are interesting, and promising. According to researchers and supporters of the treatment, it empowers thinking processes that promote general connection, romantic interest, understanding social cues, a desire to be social, and more. It is something that can effectively aid in a number of treatments for genetic disorders, and aid one in reaching outside the comfort zone, in order to grow more and expand their perspectives.

However, there are certain negative factors that may endanger or promote risk in an individual’s wellbeing from this treatment. Oxytocin may promote desire for a relationship, however this may form into hasty decisions that result in grievous relationships. Another consequence may be the complete opposite from expected, as some patients, according to Azar, have been observed to isolate and avoid social connection as a result of the treatment. The only conclusion that can be certainly draw is that the Oxytocin Spray, much like any medicine that remotely affects the mind, may affect different people in dramatically separate ways.

Although the research may be premature, the potential benefits of Oxytocin spray are plenty. If you are interested in attempting to use the treatment, speak with your physician about using the medicine and any possible side effects it may have upon your daily life